6 Signs That Say You’re a Long Way from Home

29 Aug

Sign in Indonesian airport toilet, showing users not to squat on the toilet, throw food, utensils or bottles into the toilet, or flush the toilet using a hose.
1: Instructions on how to use the toilet. [tweetmeme source=”@mummy_t” only_single=false]

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Makassar airport, Indonesia, caters both to Westerners and locals on, perhaps, their first flight ever. Which is why the Western-style thrones have these handy instructions on the side of the cubicle.

For safety reasons all weapons must be kept by air crew during flight.
2: Weapons? Just leave them with the cabin crew.
Thanks to Balikpapan airport, Indonesia, for this reassuring sign. Indonesian airlines aren’t exactly famed for their safety standards. And you do not need to show identification when boarding internal flights. So the notion that gunmen can simply pass their AK-47s to cabin crew and recoup them upon landing made the check-in experience extra, extra-special.

As did the reminder about ditching procedures, when about to ascend to 20-odd thousand feet over the ocean in a flying bucket courtesy of Indonesia’s answer to RyanAir.

"ATTENTION. 1. Keep the Museum clean with: - No smoking -No throwing rubbish or feces - No spitting on the floor / room - No eating and drinking in the showroom
3: A helpful guide to museum etiquette.
Thanks to all at the museum in Fort Rotterdam, Makassar, for these handy hints on how to behave in places of learning. Next time I am thinking of making like a chimp with my droppings, I’ll be sure to think again.

Explanation of the uses of Gambir, from circumcise to cance.
4: A panacea for all ills.
Toothache circumcise? Cance by fish sting? Nail pointed strike? Or just keen to stay firm all night? The miracle substance known as Gambir, sold from stalls in Sarawak, Malaysian Borneo, will cover all bases. And then some.

"This is metered taxi. Haggling is prohibited. Request for your receipt."
5: And the other one has bells on.
In Georgetown, Malaysia, taxi drivers quite literally hide their meters under blankets and will not, to paraphrase Linda Evangelista, get out of bed for anything less than 20 ringgit. And the signs on the doors change nothing, I tell you, nothing.

"Specialise in Fish Head Curry and Banana Pan Cake with Honey and Ice Cream."
6: Unappetising combinations.
This 24-hour restaurant in Teluk Bahang, Malaysia, serves delicious fish head curry. Also delicious banana pancakes. Just, perhaps, best not together?

Have any comedy signs caught your eye lately? At home, or on your travels? Send me a picture (theodorasutcliffe AT gmail DOT com), and a link if you have one, and I’ll post them up in a week or so.

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14 Responses to “6 Signs That Say You’re a Long Way from Home”

  1. Tracy Burns August 29, 2010 at 6:56 pm #

    Love it. Did you see the ‘How to tell if your poo is healthy’ sign in the toilets at the Penang Butterfly Park? If not I’ll email it to you.

    Indonesian airlines sound… downright scary. But then we flew with Laos Airlines – their only safety instructions were to rip off the bottom of the seat off and use that as a floatation aid in the event of a water crash landing. Very helpful in a landlocked country!

    Funnily enough we ate at Restoran Khaleel for lunch today… banana pancakes were had but no matter how long I’m in Asia I am never ever eating the fish head curry! Happy to go local but thats just too local.

    • MummyT August 29, 2010 at 7:32 pm #

      Oh, you HAVE to try the fish head curry. It’s the top chunk of a fish, so you can eat the neck and cheeks, and none of the, erm, more challenging parts. Absolutely delicious. Seriously. Amazing tomato-chilli-okra sauce. Mind you, you do have to look at the poor thing’s face…

      And, no, I never saw the healthy poo sign. Please do whack me over an email.

      • Tracy Burns August 30, 2010 at 7:50 am #

        Really??? I struggle eating whole fish at the best of times as I can see those eyes looking at me… the sauce sounds amazing. Maybe I can just have the sauce…

        Email coming your way.

  2. nicole curry August 29, 2010 at 7:59 pm #

    Are you in Sumatra?? Just heard about the eruption…..

    • MummyT August 29, 2010 at 8:14 pm #

      No, thank god. Sulawesi. Haven’t heard about the eruption. Will look now…

  3. jessiev August 29, 2010 at 8:59 pm #

    too funny! love these…

  4. soultravelers3 August 30, 2010 at 4:01 am #

    Ha! These are funny! I thought we had seen some hilarious ones on our world tour ( yes, even in Europe) but looks like we have more in store for us when we head to Asia this fall. 😉

    • MummyT August 31, 2010 at 9:07 pm #

      Oh yeah! I haven’t even been bothering to collect them yet… When do you arrive? We’re in Indonesia till early Nov…

  5. Jane Turner August 30, 2010 at 1:44 pm #

    Saw something similar in Thailand! I enjoy reading about your adventures. Are you going to China? I hope to visit there next year.

    Keep writing!

    Regards
    Jane

    • MummyT August 31, 2010 at 9:08 pm #

      Thank you! At the moment, no, we’re not doing China. I thought it was too big a trip: even grappling with the scale of Indonesia. Now sort of regretting it, and longing for that China-India-Nepal leg… So we shall see…

      • nicole curry September 1, 2010 at 11:56 am #

        me too..thinking a train trip from china to Tibet then over to Nepal…….

  6. scotttraveler September 3, 2010 at 1:32 pm #

    leave weapon with pilot. check.
    don’t throw feces. check.

    did I miss anything?

    • MummyT September 3, 2010 at 3:00 pm #

      Should you throw your feces, though, you might want to inspect them first. Tracy just sent me through THE most hilarious Malaysian sign…

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Dodgeblogium » End of Summer BoMS… - September 7, 2010

    […] presents 6 Signs That Say You?re a Long Way from Home posted at Travels with a Nine Year Old, saying, “Some of those signs that really make you […]

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